Zidanes Journey
by Gothic Dude
Summary: Do you HATE Chocobos? and would like to rid the world of them? well now you can....well you can't....but you can read about Zidane doing it!!!and rated 13 for violence
1. SOMETHING

(AN: OK so my WAYS TO KILL A CHOCOBO got taken off, so instead I've written a story where Zidane goes around Gaia killing chocobos so that when he has killed enough chocobos he gets to battle The Fat Chocobo!)  
  
A great message came to Zidane from the sky, it read: " eggs, teabags, jam, ketchup...." Err sorry wrong one, it read: "Zidane you have been chosen to fulfil a prophecy written long ago. You are the chosen one who shall rid our world of the only evil it really holds, and that evil is: CHOCOBOS! Only you can do this, only you can save us." "Turn over for instructions", said a mysterious voice from the sky, which sounded suspiciously like one of those peoples voices that says "turn tape over" on relaxation tapes. Zidane turned the paper over and there was indeed a list of instructions, they read: " put dog out, wash car..."Sorry wrong one again, it read: " you shall have to kill 162 chocobos to reach the level you need to defeat The Fat Chocobo! Oh and beware of green jelly stuff!" " I have to do it, I've got to do it!" thought Zidane as he set out on his journey to rid Gaia of Chocobos!  
  
AN:OK I know this chapter was VVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY short, but that's because it's only the intro and there will be LOTS of Chocobo KILLING next chapter! 


	2. STUFF

AN: OK so this story is gonna be crap, but it has lots of good ways to kill chocobos!!! The story will be crap 'cos it used to be a list!!!  
  
So Zidane set out to kill chocobos! A long time later. " how did ya kill 'em?! How did ya kill 'em!?" screamed an excited Eiko. (AN: for all you FF.net surfers out there THIS IS NOT A LIST, this is Zidane talking to Eiko and everyone else!!!) "Welllll I, First off I was hungry so I (AN: oh yeah and this and the next 2 are by Kris, thanks.hey I don't say that!well I just did so I better get used to it!!!) plucked every feather from its body, roasted it and ate it (AN: I think that's right.can't remember!!!).and for another one Hell is for Heroes were playing nearby and there was also a clothes shop right next to me so I dressed it in Adidas clothes, threw it in a moshpit and shouted "TOWNIE!!!" It got killed, I told one that kupo was just over this minefield that was fun to watch!!! I made one watch Barney 'til its brains melted out its ears! one word CHEESEGRATER!!! once I looked into the blue ones eyes I was suddenly reminded of a poem: Downhill, no brakes, steamroller, PANCAKE!!! I fed one endlessly until it burst. I put one in a barrel full of rats, went away for about an hour and came back to find my very own chocobo skeleton" "Can I have it!!!?" asked Dagger. " Of course you can, anyway, I have started in the movie business: Choco Bond the movie: no stunt doubles, no special effects (all real explosions), all instruments of death used on Choco Bond are REAL! (Choco Bond may vary from time to time due to death rate on this film!). I got one of the authors brothers socks and held it up to the chocobos face it died instantly (AN: if you try this at home WEAR A GAS MASK otherwise you shall surely die aswell!!!). I found out it was Mario's (little kid in Treno) birthday so I dressed a chocobo up in a clown costume and brought it there to be mauled to death!!! two words BUTCHER KNIFE (AN: I just found out that there is none in our kitchen, disgraceful isn't it?)!!! I found a Gareth Gates (aka: the hated one, I don't own GG but if I did I would kill him I'll leave full info on my plan at the end and tell me if you want to join in cos' I need more people.) CD in the thrash and made a chocobo listen to it until its head burst!!!" " COOL I'd LOVE to be you Zidaneyou're soooo lucky!!! *sigh*" said Dagger.  
  
AN: ok told you it'd be crap but I'd still like to kill a chocobo instead of just writing about it *sigh* anyway my plan to kill The Hated One: OK someone has to dress up as the queen of England so we can get into a hotel for free and then 3 people have to dress up as Will Young, Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears so then we find GG (Gareth Gates) and 'Will Young' will go into his dressing room and say " Ohh Gareth it has taken me a long time to say this but I'm gay and I want you to marry me!" Gareth, being naturally stupid, will say " oh of course Will darling!" as he goes to kiss you stab him!!! Now walk outside his dressing room and shout your 'names' and run!!! So then GG is dead and Will Young and the others will get arrested, see perfect plan.pleassssse join me?!?! Oh yeah and if we see Blue or another crap ban like that we can kill them too!!! 


End file.
